My low mood persists. I thought this morning when I woke I was actually feeling better, but I came to realise I’m just a bit numb to the world today. I’m not out of control like I was last night, but I’m not any better.
How do you describe a feeling when describing feelings doesn’t come easily?
I’ve been lost in my thoughts a few times today, and took a nap through the afternoon because I just felt like it. I was only awoken by a phone call from Colin and Marianne, asking how to use the wine cellar management software I set up for him over Christmas.
I’m trying to avoid alcohol, I want a rum and coke, but I’m settling for a tea. I had leftover kipfler potatoes and sausages for dinner, doused in butter and mayonnaise.
There’s nothing on TV and I’m not game to start iTunes.
I spoke to my psychologist on the phone this morning who explained that drugs don’t control thoughts. So I’m not sure what the solution is now. My thoughts are always going to linger, but if drugs can stop my mood from falling to a point where the thoughts become stronger, then perhaps there’s light at the end of the tunnel after all. If not, maybe I’m just doomed until I take that small step one day.
I think going to bed early might help. I’ve got lunch with friends tomorrow so early to bed and early to rise could be beneficial. I’m thinking of taking the train, that way I can have a couple drinks.
It’s probably worth noting we’ve had extremely heavy rain the past few days. A lot of it has fallen, buckets are full right around the house. So’s the pool. I don’t think the Garden is doing too badly, no flooding, but the plants will have had a lot to drink.
