I really struggle with being an adult, the responsibilities far outweigh the benefits sometimes and really just gives me a whole bunch of anxiety that I don’t want nor need.
Case in point over the past few days, we paid the deposit on a house last week. Moving. That didn’t really fill me with any dread, despite my love for keeping things the same. However, yesterday was the all important building and pest inspection and despite there not being anything significantly wrong with the property, all the little things started to add up.
This culminated in a difficult decision this morning to exit the contract through the cooling off period. Simply making that decision had taken almost 24 hours for me of going backwards and forwards. The email sat on my desktop for 20 minutes before I hit send and the phone call to the real estate agent left me a blubbering mess.
I realise I don’t owe anyone an explanation but I think it’s the right thing to do and that conversation over the phone left me feeling as drained as I’ve ever felt. Don’t get me wrong, the agent was lovely, no abuse towards me on the call or anything, but I felt like I’d just run a marathon and all my energy had just gone. This is especially telling as today was the first day I doubled my dosage of Strattera, an ADD drug I started recently. So I should be brimming with energy. Instead, I’m deflated.